The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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