can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
