according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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