nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
