Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
