sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
