Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize