Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
