Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
