when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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