I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
