I love black thongs
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
