he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
