I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
