I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
