my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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