Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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