Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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