Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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