TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
