How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
MIDGETS
????
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
