I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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