yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
