Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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