Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
