you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
