oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
