You made me cry and you don't even care
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
