I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
