she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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