I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I pour the whiskey from now on
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
