I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
