I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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