Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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