last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
