I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i drank out of a bidet.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
