If i come over, it means nothing
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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