Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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