In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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