What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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