omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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