maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I want her autograph on my taint
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
