So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
