I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i believe in u and ur pee
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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