While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
