I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
