Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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