i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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