you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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