I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
