Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
