Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wish my penis had a tongue
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
