Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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