Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
