hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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