i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
