There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
