We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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